Before entering into lotus pose I feel a stirring, a movement, a restlessness; wondering, what will come next? Will I blossom? Will I find fulfillment in my life and be able to give back? What purpose am I here for? This Divine Plan that I am a part of – whats going to come of it and when?

It is the end of an old cycle and the start of a new; the time of transition, happening right here and now. I feel it in my bodies wake; something is happening that I have to yet see the culmination of; it isn’t the time to make visible what is being but has yet to come. The seeds have been sown and are now burrowed in soils embrace; I, the one who is impatient. But why? What’s the rush? This process has nothing to do with my worth or okay-ness; it is a process of life living itself through me. Can I remember that? Can I not take things as such personal jabs to my esteem and rather relax into this miracle unfolding? In that way, might I be a more capable handmaiden for these gifts? Capable in the sense of recognition: I play a part in this…that paradox of being important, of course, and totally not.

There is a vision from Eagle to mediate the difference between that which wants to move and the stillness from which movement is revealed. Right now is the slowing time, the time where Earth is frozen over, when waters too are seeming to stop with sheets of ice; the time of hibernation, of pause. If growth were to happen now, the cold would only kill that which wants to live. The seeds are germinating and they must do so. These cycles are a part of the life death life rhythm that we are each, whether we embrace or resist, are intrinsically a part of too.

At this time, what is dying in me? What is gestating, preparing to emerge? I can feel the pulse of something new, the sense of what is to come and yet has it to make an appearance. Do I trust it is there? I know it to be so; it is an experiential truth. I remember, life is birthed at the right time and not through force and ambition. The invitation now is to wait and be present throughout the process. It is the journey, so they say. Before growth, let the sediment settle.

I am reminded of water. Of the lotus. How hard it can be to see to the deep when water has been shaken up. First things have to find there place then what is underneath will be exposed and the Path will become clear, not at all once but gradually, little by little. There is the light, always. All the shifts that have taken place need to re-organize in this body mind before they slowly lift towards the surface, the world outside there ready to receive.

I have the time.

So I sit, in lotus pose, with my feet crossed, both atop opposite thighs. It is as if when I enter the pose I am stuck. I put myself into a container; the feet are bound to one another, to the base, and that stillness that I knew I had needed is the only real option. My feet, wrapped around eachother and settled in my seat, hold a place for me to peer within by stopping my inclination to do, move, be somebody through action. Now, my action is stillness to attune to another kind of movement.

Movement is always happening, at different levels of expressive tone. Sometimes, it is so very subtle, like small waves. Other times, it is almost difficult to not see what is so apparent. But if those big shifts happen repetitively turbulence is created. To give the time and space for resolution is like the seasons and what their teachings.

Cycles, although blending into eachother, do have distinction.


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